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Too Much
Disclaimer: this installment is for the sole purpose of entertainment both the author and the readers.
I do not intent to make money of it, so please don't sue me.
All characters unless noted otherwise are the property of J.R.R. Tolkien.
It's Tolkien's fault. Had he given us more female Elves to work on....
As it is we must deal with what we have - not that we care. :-))
Rating: R/NC-17
Summary: In the wake of Elrond's council solitary Erestor finds a new love ....and an old one returns unexpectedly.
Slight SM, lots of drama and some sex. Be warned and prepared...
Author's note: this is the result of an RPG, so not solely written by me but by Lady Phoenix as well.
Archieve: as long as we know: yes.
Feedback: YESSSSSS! It keeps us going!
Pairing: Erestor/Lindir, Erestor/OMC
Erestor shuffled slowly out of the kitchen, keeping his gait as dignified as possible. He had thanked the chef for her perfect performance over the weeks past. So many additional mouths had to be filled with so many variations of food, so many different delegations to be housed and - most important - be kept peaceful! All the meals and meetings had needed a meticulous planning and Erestor had outdone himself in arranging it all with his helpers.
The Seneschal and Chief counselor of Imladris was indeed tired. He could not remember when his poor, crippled feet had not hurt for the last time - he was no longer made for all this running around on end. Now that the fellowship had left an hour ago Erestor would allow himself a moment of peace.
He slid into a dark corner in the Hall of Fire, gathered his heavy robes around his tall form and sat down with a sigh. The place seemed almost deserted after the throngs of people who had gathered here in the weeks past. Only a few notes of melancholic music trickled through the scented air and for the first time in weeks he relaxed.
Lindir watched Erestor enter the room. He watched the man drift to the back and settle into a chair alone and away from everyone else. Of course, "everyone" was a rather small gathering of elves who had requested a tune when they spotted the bard walking past. He'd consented without protest, but the newest arrival made paying attention to the small wooden flute in his hands rather difficult.
Erestor listened, eyes closed to shut out any distractions. Lindir's style was easily recognized by one who loved music the way he did. Lindir's fingers danced so lithe on any instrument and sometimes Erestor wondered what they might feel like...
After a few songs more, Lindir begged off further performance. "I have someone that I must speak to," he explained, bowing slightly to the assemblage before moving toward the back.
The steps approaching were barely audible and the couselor opened his eyes to see why song and music had stopped. His gaze easily spotted the willowy form of the talented minstrel approach.
"My Lord Erestor." The young elf bowed once again, his hair flowing forward over his shoulders despite the attempt of a few braids to hold it back from his face. "You have been much distracted of late..."
The hint of a smile crossed Erestor's face before he returned a slight nod of his head. "Master Lindir." he pointed at a seat nearby "Please, sit. And would you please stop to 'my Lord' me? I am but a servant to my Lord." Sitting up straight in order to keep up his formal stance, Erestor continued "It has been a very hectic time, aye. Yet your music is able to chase away any sorrows. Thank you for playing. Did all those strangers bring news to you for new lyrics? There must have been interesting stories told." Erestor felt almost a pang of jealousy for he greatly enjoyed to tell Lindir of the old days himself. The idea of Lindir's azure eyes being reverently glued onto somebody else he could only endure telling himself that his protégé needed as much input as he could get.
"I fear their stories were only those I have heard or read myself a dozen times before," Lindir bemoaned, his gaze moving into the distance before shifting back to the older elf's unreadable face. "I do regret that the Ringbearer never felt well enough himself to relate the tail of the Fellowship thus far. Now that shall be a tale worth singing..." //Should anyone survive to relate it.// The idea brought sadness to Lindir's heart, and his expression darkened momentarily.
"Yes..." Erestor's answer was but a whisper. He was glad the Ring had gone! Its arrival had caused him unbearable pains - the scars inflicted upon his body by Sauron had started to bleed again and he had done his best to stay away from the Halfling. "Though I am glad the accursed thing has left again."
Wanting to be rid of the sadness, however, he turned to Erestor. "Perhaps you could inspire me to a new song?" There was a note of pleading in his soft voice, and Lindir sat down at Erestor's feet, gaze raising beseechingly.
Ah! He would never be able to deny Lindir anything! Most of the time Erestor tried to relay stories of great drama or of heroic deeds during the many wars the Eldar had fought against Melko and his servant Sauron. But today...
"It shall be something bright this time. Do you know how the Sickle was put up into the sky?" so Erestor told Lindir the tale of Aule who, enraged over lies Melko - the ever evil - had told him about his mate, smashed the mithril sickle he was working on. and how Elbereth had gathered the shards and put them into the sky in the form of a sickle as a reminder of the insulted Lady's honor.
Enraptured, Lindir listened to every word. Whatever he himself might do with voice or instrument, Erestor blew away its impact with words. At the end of the tale, he smiled and sighed, sorry to see another story past no matter how he loved the telling. "I could listen to you speak for days and never tire of the sound..." The words cut a bit close to his true desire, and Lindir barely managed to keep himself from looking shyly away like a child caught saying something they weren't meant to. A faint flush crept into his cheeks, but Lindir felt confident that the darkness would hide it.
It was balm on Erestor's soul, to hear such compliments from the object of his secret desires, to feel those eyes on him with almost admiration and he actually felt a blush heat his cheeks. It was rare to hear anybody compliment him and Erestor was not good handling such.
So Erestor snorted. "Then you are a rare exception, Master Lindir. Usually people cannot get away quickly enough or fall asleep during counsel." he did not want to lash out at Lindir the way he usually would have done, but he couldn't simply accept the words. Regretting his words, he offered some kind of compensation.
"Would you like to walk with me? There are delicious pastries in the kitchen and they are heating up spiced wine for the afternoon." Erestor stood clumsily, suppressing a whine when his feet protested the new strain.
"I may lack your wisdom, Erestor, but I have some idea of you..." The younger elf rose and gently placed his hands on Erestor's shoulders, urging him to sit. "Stay here. I will return in a few moments." Without accepting any protest, Lindir hurried away on light feet.
Erestor watched Lindir with admiration. Such grace! And the minstrel seemed completely unaware of how others watched him, or at least he did not care. Once Lindir was out of sight, the ancient elf was left behind with unanswered questions chasing his mind. In fact, those questions would never be asked, to begin with. what did Lindir mean, to have some idea of him? //oh, by the Valar! I hope not he guesses... he must not!// it would kill him if Lindir would act on Erestor's feelings out of compassion for the crippled loner. He had to guard his feelings better!
Indeed it was not more than ten minutes before he returned, walking more slowly and carrying in his arms a tray with a carafe of wine and some pastries scattered about. "Will this suit you?" he asked with a warm smile, unconsciously dying for the approval of the other elf.
Erestor allowed one of his rare smiles to break through his cold, unapproachable appearance. He couldn't remember the last time anybody had bothered to do something for him. He scanned the tray.
"Why, it is perfect! How did you know these were my favorites?" he picked up a honeyed piece of biscuit.
"As I have said, I know something of you," Lindir repeated firmly. True, his observations were not all out of the kindness of his head. Indeed he desired to know much more about the other elf than he did, but... "I watch you." The confession was quiet and almost shy despite his usual exuberance. To hide something of his embarrassment, Lindir poured each of them a glass of wine and sat himself a nearby chair. Gaze lowered to the plate, Lindir selected an item at random and began nibbling half-heartedly at it. //Why must you never think before you speak? You say the most foolish things...//
//he's WATCHING me? why? why would anybody do so?// did Lindir know how often he stood on the balcony of his rooms when he retired after dinner? How he knew almost every of Lindir's songs by heart, sucked them up like a sponge? that he cried and laughed - that Lindir's voice played him just like another instrument? He had gotten careless lately. Listen from inside then.
"Watch me? Lindir, one watches a teacher, an example, maybe somebody you wish to follow suit. I am nothing of that. In fact I am a bad example, I'm afraid and there is not too much to learn from me - except if you should ever wish to learn how to convince a deaf man to pay to listen to your beautiful voice." //oh, great! just keep babbling like this, Erestor.// the counselor lowered his eyes and sipped at the powerful, hot spiced wine.
//Ah, he does not understand, then. So much for the wisdom of age,// Lindir mused to himself. "You do not know yourself," he returned quietly. "I have listened rapt to your voice as often as you have drunk of my songs. Surely my judgment and taste are not so bad that you think I would enjoy it were there not something worth hearing?"
"And that is all. A cunning mind and a sharp tongue - or silver when need be. Certainly your art is by far more intoxicating than is my rede." Erestor wondered how their conversation had taken this course, that they were indeed sitting here, complimenting each other while he tried to fend off the adorable minstrel's adoration.
He smiled across at the other elf and managed to be bold enough to gently brush his fingertips over Erestor's hand. The touch felt too intimate, though, and he withdrew the fingers a moment later. "You underestimate yourself."
Erestor tried to suppress a gasp. Lindir's touch was as unexpected as electrifying. This was decidedly taking an undesired direction, Erestor decided. Lindir was getting too close and he could not allow that! He would not risk their friendship.
His heart was pounding and he knew what he would do tonight: lay awake and once again dream of Lindir while his hands did what nobody else
would: touch his marred flesh.
"I am tired, Lindir. If you will excuse me?" Erestor put his goblet down and stood. Erestor turned towards the door, glad for the heavy robes that hid his body - and the clear signs of what Lindir's fleeting touch had done to him. He managed not to limp or to stumble, determined not to loose the bit of dignity that was left to him.
Lindir rose as well, on the verge of going after the other man. //Fool. You've taken things too far, and now you'll be lucky if he speaks to you again.// Biting his full lower lip, Lindir considered. //Pretend nothing's happened, that you've never thought of it...// Indeed as he tried to keep the idea from his mind, he imagined how the elder elf's hands might feel traveling over his body and shivered with the pleasure even such a mental image brought.
At last, Lindir began to walk slowly down the hall, moving toward Erestor's room as if afraid he might be spotted. At last he stood before the door and hesitated, torn between wanting to make peace and wanting to do more, to risk the bond between them to find a stronger one.
Once inside, Erestor slumped down in a winged chair in front of the fireplace. How could he have allowed the situation to get so out of hand? Usually he and Lindir conversed on a impersonal, friendly basis that easily allowed Erestor to stay detached - at least on the surface. His nights....well that was a different story.
A hand slid inside his robes and wrapped around his aching flesh. Eyes fell shut. "Lindir..." he whispered.
~~~
Outside the door, Lindir lingered. He heard no movement from within, no sound, and continued to worry his lip between white teeth. Eventually Lindir lifted one slender hand and rapped lightly on the door. "Erestor?" he called out in a voice barely loud enough to be heard through the door. "Please... let me in..." Suddenly it seemed he could endure anything, could restrain himself as much as might be necessary, if it meant that Erestor would but open the door and forgive him his impetuous trespass.
Erestor almost jumped out of his skin, jerking his hand away and out of his garments. For a moment he did not move, considering the idea of simply pretending he did not hear. But Lindir's insistent behavior indicated the minstrel might well enter in such a case without being allowed.
"What is it?" he asked, making his way back to the door, trying to pretend nothing had happened as he - disheveled as he was - cracked the door open. //you can impossibly discuss this on the threshold! What if anybody passes by?// Reluctantly he stepped back to allow the other elf to enter his rooms. "I wish to sleep, Lindir. What is your desire?" he asked, realizing the ambiguity of those words only as they were spoken.
Erestor's appearance, hair slightly mussed and color high in his cheeks, gave Lindir pause. What might have come easily at once became difficult, and he hesitated, pale blue locking with black. "I... I fear that I offended you, and that was not my desire." The younger elf took a step closer, hopeful that Erestor might clear him of any wrongdoing simply to be rid of him. //Better that he dismiss me for sleep than from his side...// "Please, forgive my trespass. I never meant to drive you away..."
"hrmph." Erestor was surprised that Lindir actually seemed interested in their friendship. Realizing he should say something more intelligible, he took a deep breath.
"'Twas no offense, Lindir. I am just unaccustomed to being the subject of discussion in such... such a personal way." in fact he was unaccustomed to be the subject of any form of attention, but he wouldn't admit such. "And I would prefer not to have physical contact, Lindir. I should have made that clear beforehand. It...it confuses me, especially now because I haven't rested in many days. Is there anything else we should discuss?" he hoped his voice did not sound too strained, did not betray him, his true thoughts.
Erestor wanted Lindir to be gone, to finish what he had started moments before. He was acutely aware of Lindir's sweet scent, was almost certain he could sense the other elf's body-heat and his own flesh was screaming out for the minstrel.
Not suspecting in the least that Erestor wanted to be rid of him for any reason other than that he was an annoyance, Lindir ducked his head. "No... I will leave you. I..." He looked up, hopeful, into the other elf's eyes. "But things are well between us? Tomorrow... perhaps we might speak again?" //You've already been absolved, little fool, and you should not push your luck further.//
Lindir's anxious question almost broke Erestor's heart.
"Oh, Lindir!" he exclaimed with a wistful smile "Things are well, aye. And we will speak tomorrow. Sleep well, young one." without thinking Erestor pressed a gentle kiss onto Lindir's forehead.
The counselor groaned inwardly that he had gotten carried away like this. The minstrel's scent filled his nostrils and his raging need returned with a vengeance. "Now you must excuse me, I really need to take care of myself, my friend." Hands tucked into the sleeves of his robes, Erestor stood motionless in the middle of his room, begging the Valar to have mercy with him.
Lindir hesitated. The touch of Erestor's lips to his skin was more than enough to remind him of what he truly wanted from his elder. Certain that Erestor would want no such thing after the events of the day, however, Lindir turned and fled from the room before he could do anymore damage. Heart pounding, Lindir returned to his own room and curled up on his bed, feeling painfully alone after coming so close to his mentor.
With a loud groan Erestor tossed himself onto his bed, parting his robes and undergarment, helping himself to a quick release while he remembered Lindir's scent and the feel of smooth skin against his lips. Instead of relaxation it only brought up in almost painful clarity what he truly missed.
TBC...
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